July Confessional: Ode to Aging

I have a grey streak of hair growing on my right temple. It is the reason I decided against coloring my hair at my last appointment. In a rebellious kind-of way, I am proud of this grey (but not so proud that I will begin parting my hair on the right side) because it says, to some degree, I've done it. I've been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Lived to tell the tale. I can officially speak from experience. I have learned from my mistakes. Have found strength in my weakness. I certainly can give you an earful!

But wait. 

It's not a head full of grey yet, it's just a streak. That says something else: I've got many "miles to go before I sleep". The days are still long. My age is still shy of "middle". And speaking of my middle... nevermind. I have room for improvement. I'm a work in progress. God isn't done with me yet! Compared to some I am still quite green, novice, ignorant, hopeful, wishful, unintentional, naive. 

So, I didn't dye my hair. I've left it alone for now, curious to see how it will grow this next year. Will the streak remain steady? Grow bigger? Suddenly overtake my head of brown? Who knows. But I like this aging thing. I like having less to fear because it has come to pass. I like seeing my mistakes covered in mercy, and seeing the progress that comes from second chances. I like the future, and all that lay ahead, unseen. And all that will come 'round and finally make sense. Each of my glorious grey strands reminds me of the things I have:

I have an older child. She has taught me endurance. She has taught me patience. She has taught me to ask questions and to be more comfortable giving of myself.

I have a younger child. She has taught me how to snuggle with little chubby legs. She has taught me the long, slow race. She has taught me how to spread my arms wider.

I have a husband of almost 7 years. He has taught me honesty. He has taught me the relief of forgiveness. He has taught me to mother. 

I have a baby in my womb. God has taught me "surprise!". God is teaching me to grow.